Beau

Beau
Our "Beau"tiful Blessing

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

The World Needs More Eliza's....

Something amazing happened 2 months ago (and I'm just now getting around to blogging about it).  I got a random Facebook message from the mother of one of Beau's classmates.  To fully understand how we met and how big this was, I need to give a little back story.

We had met a few months ago at Field Day at school.  I had stayed at the back of the gym, hoping Beau wouldn't notice me at first so that I could watch him and see how he interacted naturally with his classmates.  The first thing I noticed was a little girl that was walking alongside of him, holding his hand, instructing him on how to participate and sitting down beside him and talking with him.  Talking to the little boy that couldn't talk back to her.  I couldn't believe what I was witnessing.  His special education teacher wasn't even having to intervene to help Beau.  This little girl was taking care of my boy. 


After watching for about 20 minutes, I made my presence known and spoke with Andrea, Beau's special education teacher, as well as Beau's regular first grade teacher.  They both spoke highly of this little girl with the big heart.  Her name is Eliza they said.  Then they introduced me to her mother, Jenelle. 

Jenelle was so wonderful to talk to.  She said that Eliza spoke often of Beau.  Since Beau is non-verbal I don't often hear about his classmates at school.  I learned that Eliza has 2 sisters and 2 brothers and sadly had lost another brother, 2 year old Caleb, in December after complications from a routine tonsillectomy.  I remember thinking, how is this woman even standing here talking to me?  Her strength and her heart were amazing.  I quickly realized where Eliza got her loving spirit from.

After that day, I didn't really have much contact with Jenelle except for becoming friends on Facebook.  It wasn't until school was drawing near that we reconnected.  Our family had attended back pack night at school and the teachers had arranged it so that we could bring Beau about 15 minutes earlier than the other families because of the stress the night had caused him the previous year.  As always, his wonderful teachers and staff were thinking of what would be best for Beau.  As a result of going early, we didn't get to see too many families or too many of his classmates.  We were excited to learn that Eliza would be in Beau's 2nd grade class with him (when he wasn't attending his special education room).  I knew he would have an advocate with him and that made my heart happy.

This brings me back to the message I received that Saturday morning, after back pack night.  Jenelle messaged me asking if there was any possible way we could get the kids together over the weekend before school started on Monday.  She mentioned how bummed Eliza had been when she hadn't seen Beau at back pack night. 

I couldn't believe it.  Somebody, Beau's age, a typical little girl, wanted to come and play with my Beau.  Really? 

I was with the kids outside when Jenelle arrived with Eliza and her sister Lydia.  Beau was on his prized digger in the sandbox and I wish I could explain the look on his face when they pulled up, parked and Eliza stepped out of the car. 

His eyes got huge.  His jaw dropped.  He did the Beau squeal and he stepped off his digger and signed for Eliza to sit.  She quickly obliged and for anyone who truly knows Beau, he loves to "direct" play and she did everything he asked.  They played wonderfully together in the sandbox and Delaney and Lydia played together as well.  I watched while talking with Jenelle and was amazed at how Eliza knew exactly what Beau was "saying" to her.  She could list his likes and dislikes and she knew so much about Beau.

The kids continued to play and Eliza continued to interact with Beau, smile with Beau, laugh with Beau and they played like two 7 year old kids should play.  She knew Beau loved basketball; she grabbed a ball and the hoop and they played basketball.  She knew Beau loved watching gymnastics; she did a headstand, a cartwheel and more.  She knew he loved cars and trucks; she played cars and trucks with him. 

My son didn't stop smiling the entire hour and a half they were there. 

I'd never experienced anything like it. 








Not long after Jenelle, Eliza and Lydia left I received a text message from Jenelle.  She was relaying to me what Eliza had said to her after leaving our house.  "Mom, I think I'm going to marry Beau."  She had said it in the most matter of fact way.  My response to Jenelle talked about how much it made me smile to know that somebody his own age loves him 100% for him and doesn't care about the diagnosis and the difference between them. 

Out of curiosity, Jenelle decided to ask Eliza if she thinks that Beau is different. 

Her reaction and answer; priceless.

She looked at her mother, confused at such a question and very simply said, "No." When asked what she thinks of Beau, she smiled and said, "He's good.  I like him.  I think I might marry him."

A genuine friend.  A pure heart.  A kind soul.  One simple response to the question, do you think that Beau is different? "No."

That night after the kids had gone to sleep, the magnitude of the events of the day hit me hard.  This was the first "friend" Beau had over to play with him.  Never has any child wanted to come over and play with Beau.  I get it and I expect it.  The older he gets, the wider the gap gets between his classmates and himself.  He can't communicate like everyone else, he wears diapers and he drools a lot.  But I laid there that night and felt hope. 

And I cried my eyes out. 

Why can't more kids be like Eliza?  She looks past the obvious differences and looks within - at Beau's heart and soul.  She genuinely cares for Beau and he absolutely lights up when she's around. 

Sadly, Eliza and her family will be moving after the first of the year.  Her dad has received a job promotion (which is good news) but sadly that means that their family will be moving away.  Finally Beau has a friend and an advocate and now she will be leaving.  Her mother said that when they told the children, Eliza burst into tears and said, "What about Beau?"

My heart hurts thinking that this beautiful family is leaving; they have endured so much over the past year.  Eliza may never fully comprehend how much she has affected our lives.  She's been a protector to Beau at school, a motherly figure, she befriended Beau, plays with Beau, talks to Beau and above all else, she has loved him unconditionally.  I hope in the few short months she remains here in town, she will help other students find the same understanding and joy in being a friend to Beau. 

Wouldn't the world be a better place if we had more Eliza's?

Yes.  Yes it would.



Friday, March 6, 2015

A Journal in the Attic

While cleaning out our attic last weekend, I came across an old journal in one of the boxes.  The journal had only one entry in it and it was dated January 2, 2009.  Journals are a very private thing and should only be for the author to read, but this is one entry I am willing to share.  This falls into the period of my life before Beau's diagnosis:

Friday January 2, 2009,

I'm sitting here writing as Beau is taking his bath.  It's amazing how fast he's growing.  I can't believe that next month he'll be one already - amazing!  I worry because he's delayed with a lot.  He won't hold his own bottle, he can't crawl, he babbles a lot but no consistent mama or dada.  I'm just scared because I see all of these babies around us and they're so much more advanced than Beau.  I feel I'm not being a good mom - that I should be working with him more to help him become more advanced.  I feel like I need an instructor to tell me how.

There are times when I think back and I remember those moments during his first 17 months before he was diagnosed.  As a first time parent I wasn't really sure, at the time, if I just didn't know what I was doing or if there was something genuinely wrong.  I guess all along I had a pretty good gut feeling but when the doctors couldn't give me an answer it was just pushed off as "he's a boy - boy's develop slower than girls"....."he's a chunky boy, that's why he can't roll over, sit up, crawl..."  

Six years later, another child, and I now know how much different raising a typically developing child can be.  We have both ends of the spectrum in our house.  There are rewarding moments with both children and it has given me such a unique perspective and different outlook on life.  Finding this journal took me back to a period in my life that in some ways was perplexing and in other ways was bliss.  At that time I may have been concerned about his development, but I didn't have the fear of seizures; I didn't know that 6 years later he still wouldn't be talking or that he'd still be in diapers. 

Today at least we know what we're dealing with and we are stronger than we ever imagined.  Even better, Beau eventually did those things he wasn't doing when I wrote that journal entry; he crawled, he held his own cup, he consistently says mama and dada (music to our ears) he walks and he can even run (albeit it's a little like a drunk person) but nonetheless it's a run! Sweet Beau has been through so much since January 2, 2009 and his strength amazes me - he is my hero.



"I believe that to nurture my soul and fulfill my soul's purpose, I must learn from every event in my life, I must come to realize that every experience has within it a seed of tremendous gift."

Author: unknown