A Christmas Surprise.....

For those of you who know our family, Beau is our only child.  For those of you who may know us a little more personally, you also know that when Beau was 15 months old (and just prior to his diagnosis of P-ACC and epilepsy), we were pregnant with our second child.  We lost that child due to miscarriage as a part of a partial molar pregnancy.  It turned out to be a blessing in disguise as just a few short months after the miscarriage Beau's health changed drastically and it set us on the course we're on today. 

Beau will be 4 years old next month and over the last year, after long discussions, genetic testing, emotional growth and knowing that Beau was at a good point, we decided that we were ready to start trying again for a sibling for Mr. Beau.  It was a very scary venture for us as we had one child with serious health and developmental issues and the bizarre partial molar pregnancy/miscarriage/cancer scare after that.  We put our faith in God's hands and here is what Beau announced at Christmas to our friends and family......

The front of Beau's shirt says, "Guess what Santa is bringing me for Christmas?"

And on the back it says, "A new baby brother or sister in July."

We are pleased to share that around July 4th, 2012, we will be adding another member to our small family.  We are currently 16 weeks pregnant and assuming that everything goes well we will be welcoming a new baby this summer.  Next month will be our 20 week ultrasound and of course we'll be able to find out the sex of the baby.  I'm convinced it's a girl and Andy is convinced it's a boy - either way, we want one thing - a healthy child.  With Beau, they never saw anything unusual on his 20 week ultrasound and we never found out about his P-ACC until he was 17 months old.  The doctors have said we could have a level 2 ultrasound on this pregnancy but we have decided to do the standard ultrasound.  What happened with Beau, as far as all the professionals can tell, was a fluke.  Other people may have other opinions about us choosing not to have a level 2 ultrasound, but they can keep those opinions to themselves as we want this pregnancy to be as worry free as possible. 

I would be lying if I said I wasn't afraid during this pregnancy.  At the beginning it was the fear that it was another partial molar pregnancy and then it was the fear of miscarriage, which I still have a fear of.  After that I worry about the delivery and think of how rough Beau's delivery was.  It wasn't rough on me physically, but the emotional toll of seeing your new baby unresponsive and having CPR performed on him is something people should never see.  I want this baby to come out screaming and crying and I want to be able to hold him/her and not have them rushed to the NICU to spend a week.  I think that before I was ever pregnant - before Beau - I took for granted how amazing pregnancy is, how amazing the whole process is when a child actually comes out healthy.  To me, it's amazing and a miracle when everything actually goes right.  Assuming all of this all goes well, I'll still carry that fear that my new child may have something wrong.  Obviously with Beau we didn't know right away.  There may be tests that we pursue after the delivery for this baby just to ease our minds.  In the meantime though, I want to stay positive during this pregnancy and not worry about the what-ifs because that certainly doesn't help me or the baby growing inside of me. 

A good friend of mine recently went through pregnancy and delivery of a beautiful child after having a child with ACC.  Speaking with her made me realize how "normal" my feelings are and how life is never quite the same after having a special needs child.  Don't get me wrong, these ACC children have changed our lives in ways we never imagined and made us better people because of it.  It just makes you more aware of the things that can happen and makes you a bit more guarded.  I'm grateful everyday for my ACC family and the love and support they give, as they are truly the only ones that "understand".  Without my above-mentioned friend, I don't know how I'd have gone through some of the experiences we've been through in the last few years. 

Now that I've gone off on a tangent, I will get back to the news at hand - a new baby Weichers!  I ask for prayers my friends as we go through this pregnancy.  Thank you for sharing in our joy.  This child is going to have the most AMAZING older brother and will grow up knowing compassion and understanding for those that may be just a little different.  THIS will be one lucky younger brother/sister.